Ok not a total fail but as you all know I’ve been jet setting all over the place so I haven’t made a new recipe for nearly two weeks. I’m slowly getting back in my own time zone rhythm and I’ll resume the amazing and wondrous food fest postings next week.
But I want to talk a little bit about a real food fail. It’s making me crazy and I don’t know why I don’t stop it. Notice I don’t say I “can’t” because I CAN I’m just NOT.
It’s been busy and stressful at work as it normally is this time of year and I’m giving in over and over again to the candy jar. My nemesis. My kryptonite. I am consciously walking over to the jar and basically shoving my head in it, consuming as many chocolates that I can get down my gullet. WTAF? I hate this so much – I know it doesn’t help me, not in the slightest so WHY DO I CONTINUE THIS BEHAVIOR?
Why does it take so long to unlearn lifelong consoling habits? Do I need to figure out why I ever did this in the first place? To be honest with you I don’t want to delve into the past – do I need to do that now to fix the present?
You know, I used to smoke cigarettes (have to clarify that since people associate the Netherlands with weed, which I don’t smoke either) and even did for a few years here and a few years there, meaning I did quit and restart but always years after quitting. Each time I quit I just QUIT. Stopped. The last time I quit was 4 years ago nearly and I have no intention of starting again because I just don’t think it would be conducive to my lifestyle now (we all know it’s not healthy and I’m not judging you if you smoke, I’m just saying for me it would be a dumb move to start again).
So why can’t I quit shoving chocolate in my face when I’m stressed? If I had to pay a fine of €1 for every time I put candy in my gob In a stressful situation I’d be really broke. I don’t want to do it anymore! I have discipline in so many areas, why do I insist on sabotaging myself?
I realize only I can answer these questions for myself and come up with solutions, but I would love any feedback as to how others deal with this kind of thing.
In any case, today, I am not going to do it. I need a good food day. I need to feel in control. I need to look at the bigger picture and remember that I only do things that add value to my life. This stress-habit doesn’t so at least today it won’t be happening.