Monthly Archives: October 2010

Virtual Pink Dress Run

Posted on by Renée
6

Fran over at Dutch Girl Gets Healthy recently sponsored a Virtual “Pink Dress Run” and I had to take the opportunity to participate. There are actually three prizes to be won, but the most important part of the prizes is that half of the money spent goes to Pink Ribbon for Cancer Research. Do I want to win a prize? Yes, of course I do! But actually I love that I could participate along with Fran and several other bloggers/ runners who also ran yesterday or today for this event.

The rules were:

Run on Saturday October 30 or Sunday 31.
The distance is up to you.
It doesn’t have to be a race, a training counts too.
Mention on your blog or in a comment on my blog when you ran, the distance you ran and the time you ran.
And the most important rule:

Wear something pink and post a picture of you in your running outfit (if you can, if not I will still believe you)

So Fran, today I ran 7KM, just a training run in 49 minutes at around 7.45pm in my neighborhood. And here’s me in pink:

Certainly wasn’t too hard to dress in Pink for tonight’s run, seeing how it’s my favourite colour!

Aech Eee Double Hockey Sticks

Posted on by Renée
2

Otherwise known as: Hell.

Seriously, I have so much stress going on at the moment, work related.

To just put it in a nutshell, someone is sick and we don’t know if that person is coming back. Ever really. At this point I should assume the worst and anything else is a bonus.

That means my team is a bit messed up. Out of balance. I’m the supervisor and I should have stepped in sooner.

Should have.
Could have.
Didn’t.

I can’t let two people drown and not step in, but that means my own work goes by the wayside.

It’s the busiest part of the month.

It has to be done.

Monday I worked until 6pm. Tuesday I worked until 6pm, but then worked on my emails on the commute home and up until around 10.30. Today I worked until 6pm. It’s not letting up, people.

If it seems like a lot of “boo hoo woe is me” to work until 6pm, please remember I have a 2 hour commute to look forward to, getting me home at Eight o’clock.

Get home at 8:00. Eat dinner. Prep for the next day. Go to bed. Get up 6 hours later. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

There is no time for anything else. I’ll be honest with you, writing the post now is simply because, yes, I’m waiting for the pizza to come out of the oven so I can eat dinner.

I don’t do stress well. I really get annoyed with myself that I give in and go to My Nemesis, the candy jar. And now pizza. And a glass of wine.

This is classic behaviour. You don’t want to be like me boys and girls. When I’m good, I’m very, very good. And when I’m stressed, it’s anyone’s guess how it will go.

Tomorrow, please be kinder than today and let me make better choices.

Dietitian II Part II

Posted on by Renée
14

First a wee little update.

Monday’s plans went out the window. There was no gym. There was no healthy dinner. There was however a 4 hour commute home and a pizza delivery service. Yeah. Shit happens. And lately the commute has been so bad – every single day something; trains cancelled or late or suddenly having a diversion. I have spoken to my boss now about how this is pretty much affecting my health. I didn’t really want to discuss my weight loss (or lack thereof) with my manager, but to be honest, this whole situation I am in IS actually affecting me. I think about looking for a new job too often for someone who actually loves where she works, simply because I don’t want to commute like this anymore. So I just told him and proposed that I somehow find a way and a good schedule to work from home at least one day a week. He said he didn’t want to lose me, and if I had to do one or two days even I should do it. So now i have that to think about and make work for me and my team (I’m the supervisor, and it’s handy for me to be there for them). Something to think about and put into motion.

Finally I went running again! YES! Yesterday evening, once again problems with the trains, but hubs had to go and study so he cooked our Monday dinner before I arrived home and had to eat without me. I was pretty unhappy that I wouldn’t even get to see hubs, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I got home, had half a portion of dinner and the got ready to run. I had all kinds of thoughts going through my head, mostly ones that were trying to prevent me from going. I’ve learned in just the last month that I still have a long way to go before I have really changed and made habits that are really, truly who I am. There is still a sizeable (no pun intended) part of me that is lazy. Period. So I ran. 5 minute warmup, 15 minutes running, 5 minutes fast walking, 15 minutes running, 5 minutes cool down. In total 6 kilometers. It’s not a half-marathon, but hey, you have to start back somewhere.

In keeping up with my plans for this week, I also went to the Dietitian today, so I worked from home. I packed my stuff and took it with me so I could go straight from my appointment. I cycled to the gym., did a 20 minute cardio warmup on the elliptical, and then went through my circuit. To be honest, it felt good in the beginning, but I was extremely tired halfway through. I pushed through though and then cycled home again. Oh and I did check about spinning and bought a different water bottle so that I could actually drink during spinning (my water bottles are not really handy for sports).

So yeah. The Dietitian. We talked a bit about how it was going. She asked me if I lost any weight. This morning I did go on the scale, because I knew she would ask me. If I remember correctly when I saw her the first time, I weighed 80.5KG. This morning I saw 79.9KG. After my weekend in Amsterdam and London I saw as high as 81.5KG. But these kinds of fluctuations don’t faze me anymore. I expected to go up from my weekends away. A kilo’s not a big deal. Seeing 79.9KG isn’t a big deal either. I can’t and won’t get excited about this because I need it to stay this way or go lower for me to truly believe I could be past all of this. Anyway. I told her my weight and I told her I’m doing better in a few areas.
1) I haven’t been exercising at all in a month. Well not really. I went bicycling in London but that’s it. So I haven’t been as hungry as I usually am.
2) I have been sleeping more, because I haven’t been exercising (going to bed late) or getting up early to prepare my meals.
3) I tried the tips and tricks for the afternoon hungries but they are not working. I am still very hungry by the time I get home, even though I’m eating from 3.30pm onwards.
4) I have come to the conclusion that dinner is still too much.

She gave me more ideas and suggested that I definitely make sure that I have higher protein based snacks in the afternoon, plus she gave me a list of a few other suggestions that I will have a look at (but there are already quite a few things on the list that I have tried and do eat regularly.

I mentioned to her that I have the feeling I have to just accept that this is my weight and I’m still very frustrated. She told me not to give up yet. She told me that we are just going to keep trying, that maybe we will not have fast, easy results, but we will figure it out. I have another appointment on the 17th of November and I need to send her a food diary of minimum three days prior to then.

No super exciting, just more things to try. I need to figure out how to structure my life. Work. Exercise. Food. Everything. Kind of overwhelming. Where do I start?

Spinning Around

Posted on by Renée
15

No, we are not talking Kylie here

and we are not talking Dead or Alive

Though admittedly I probably could work up a sweat in a club dancing to these two tunes, I’m talking about Spinning:

Photo Courtesy of Jagyba Sport and Health

I have been wanting to try spinning for a long time now, but I am actually scared to try it.

I’m scared to try a new sport where I have to interact with others and hear and understand the words that are being spoken to the class.

My language skills are fine, I do speak Dutch, but I am sometimes insecure. Any time I do a class of any sort I am nervous and insecure. I remember the same feeling I had the first time I went to Weight Watchers and that was nearly 11 years ago. My language skills have improved considerably.

So what am I afraid of? What if I don’t understand the directions? What if they yell at me because I’m doing something wrong and I won’t understand what it is? What if I look like a complete idiot? what if I just can’t do it?

I’ve gotten some feedback now and I keep looking at the schedule and I keep wondering… am I going to do it? Will I dare to do it?

I might.

Getting Le Crap Together

Posted on by Renée
12

Looks like I’ve finally reached the point where I’m sick enough of myself and my excuses to do something.

So, I have a plan for next week. Today is already pretty much over (not a license to eat like a person who doesn’t care about her body), we start over again tomorrow.

I have planned out our dinners. And I will plan my running and gym for next week too. Unless I am lying in the hospital on my last breath, I will be doing both this week.

If you hate food / food planning posts you can stop here and just go directly to the comments and tell me how cool I am.

Dinners Planned:
Sunday – Spaghetti with home made sauce and meatballs *we always make the sauce ourselves and the meatballs are from extra lean beef. We have a tradition of pasta on Sundays, generally when we have the kids (which is this weekend). The sauce is made up of only tomatoes, 1 TBSP of olive oil and fresh italian herbs. This is a fairly healthy dish. It’s the QUANTITY that I can shove down my gullet that gets to me every time.

Monday – couscous, turkey medallions and vegetables * this is one of my healthier go-to dishes when I need to cook. Nothing is really “bad” in this dish. For the vegetables I use red, green and yellow paprika peppers, mushrooms and red onion. This will be sautéed in 1 TBSP coconut oil. Turkey to be marinated a wee bit in some sweet-soy sauce, some chili paste, salt, pepper, garlic.

Tuesday – White fish with rice and haricots verts * usually I use tilapia or pangasius (catfish I think in English). this is covered with 1 TBSP olive oil, lemon, salt, pepper, garlic and fresh basil. All that cooked in the pan for a couple of minutes, then a tin of tomato chunks, lemon juice and a wee bit of water is poured over the fish left to simmer for a few minutes. The beans are steamed in the rice cooker with the rice.

Wednesday – chicken stir fry with rice * pretty self explanatory. We buy a bag of stir fry veg to cook this quickly. There is some sweet-soy involved, and some chili paste.

Thursday – I’m not in control of Thursday as hubs is cooking for his study partner. It will be an Indian curry. Always made to adapt to our healthy eating epicness.

Friday – I’m out with friends, hubs is on his own. We’re going to a Burger Bar and then for drinks. For me it will not be an out of control evening because of the fact that I will be in Amsterdam and still have to travel back to Arnhem in the evening. Since our train station is a complete disaster I may even need to leave the city earlier than I normally do just to make it home with alternative transport.

I WILL RUN on these days:
Tuesday
Thursday
*quite possibly Friday with some colleagues at work during the day

I WILL go to the gym on these days:
Monday
Wednesday

I have an appt with my Dietitian on Wednesday and will prepare dinner AFTER I go to the gym. I will go to the gym DIRECTLY after the appointment. Luckily I am working from home that day so there is NO EXCUSE to not go.

I don’t generally need help with my daily food planning because I tend to rotate the same things. I make sure I get my veggies in by either already including them at breakfast, having a huge salad at lunch, or snacking on them throughout the day. Fruits are also a non issue – those are also always included throughout the day. I made a shopping list that hubs so wonderfully and willingly took with him to the supermarket. I made a huge pot of Spicy Carrot and other Vegetables soup (I had some veggies that were approaching the end of their life cycle so I threw them in) and will have that during the week in the afternoon (or at lunch) instead of cup-a-soup. I am also making some Kamut and that will be added to the soup for a source of protein and bulking up.

I am making some hummus also tomorrow and will have that for my sandwich portion of the lunch this week, along with avocado and sun-dried (not in oil) or even regular tomatoes.

Basically, I’m putting it out there and I’m doing it. No more excuses. Time to get my crap together and my ass in gear.

Here We Go A ‘Rambling

Posted on by Renée
8

I had this great idea to do a video log this week. And then my lovely Karen did one today and I thought “Yes, this is my day too for a new video log!”

I don’t really plan or script these things out. I’m a total technical dork (as in I’m not technical) so I also don’t know how to edit and make things better, etc. What you see is what you get. Me. Bad lighting. Rambling. Cats being annoying in the background. Saying weird things. Basically nothing different than if you were to meet me in real life (though I strive to at least get myself into some good lighting).

My whole afternoon up until evening pretty much didn’t go as planned. From work stuff to commuting stuff to even falling up the stairs at the train station because I’m a klutz and that’s how I roll. I tried to keep cool and hang out at Starbucks for a bit (not work, a store in the train station), I even remained calm when asking for information about when my train was actually going to depart (rather than be cancelled). I suffered through an exageratedly-loud yawner sitting behind me on the train, a missed connection and basically what it boiled down to was that I was home too late to do anything anymore.

But I made this little Vlog for your pleasure.

Apparently I’m the only one

Posted on by Renée
27

Well. I’m sure I’m not, but when asking certain things out to the twittersphere, I didn’t get much feedback from other heath and weight loss bloggers about plateaus.
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I had a great chat with Samantha and exchanged a couple of emails with Debra. I know that Bitch Cakes had a very long plateau herself and she has two blog posts on the subject from her weekly meetings. Plateaus as “we” know them though, usually don’t last as long as 6 months or more. Mine is now going on 10 months and I think about it every day, what the reasons could be that I’m sticking at this same weight.

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Everyone is different. Every body requires certain things. Sometimes we are on a plateau because we are not really doing 100% in the food and/or exercise department. Sometimes we are on a plateau because of our age; a twenty-two year-olds experience will most likely be much different than this forty-two year-olds experience. Sometimes we are on a plateau because we don’t eat enough or we need to “shake things up” a little bit. Only the person themselves know whether they are really doing everything possible to lose weight in a healthy manner.
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Because that’s the thing, right? I can tell you that I’m doing everything the “right” way. But am I really? Could I be doing it in the “wrong” way? Or is there something else going on? Is it medical? Mental? Physical?

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We hear whining and complaining constantly. “I don’t know why I can’t lose weight” you’ll read and then followed by “Oops, a pizza just fell in my mouth”. I’m not criticizing those people. Everyone has their own responsibility. I try really hard not to complain about non-existent weight loss when I know I’ve had a weekend filled with booze, food, dessert (I never eat dessert) and late-night stop off at the Indian takeaway. I expect to NOT lose weight in these situations. I expect the scale to say “Oh hello one added kilo!” That’s normal. No one can expect to do whatever the hell they want and still lose weight.

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It’s the weeks on end that I am careful. Meticulous. Weighing, measuring, and exercising. Even pre-planning my wine for the weekend. Making shopping lists and food plans. It’s those weeks that it’s especially maddening to see the scale pretty much stay the same. It’s maddening to know that you are losing sleep (literally) to make sure that you are on plan to become the healthiest you that you can be.

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I know my weak areas. 1) Dinner is most likely to be a bit too much food. I am still trying to figure out how to cope with this and how to improve. 2) I do not get enough sleep. Period. 3) I like to have a drink or three during the weekend (I generally am under or right at the recommended max 7 units a week).

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My dietitian mentioned it and I now am nearly convinced that I am producing too much cortisol. I don’t sleep enough, which increases the levels of cortisol over time, which gives a person a hungry signal more often. You all have read me raving like a loon over the fact that I am so hungry at times? Well, this is most likely the reason. I do not know how to solve this except to pretty much find a new job in the town or at least near where I live (since commuting is apparently also something which can increase cortisol levels, and I commute more than 20 hours a week). Getting a new job is not that easy. Not probably in the country that you, dear reader, live in and not where I live either. And certainly not for someone who finds it less stressful to work in an international environment than in an all Dutch-environment (and where I live it’s not super international –those jobs are all in the West). But now I start to digress…

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I’m on a plateau. And I feel very alone in it. I feel like there is no one out there who can understand what I’m going through. No one who can understand just how frustrating it is to hear day after day another person out there in the cybersphere who has another couple of pounds down for the week. I have said it over and over; I know the number on the scale is not the be all and end all of being healthy. I know there are other factors. How do I feel in my clothes? How do I feel about my running progress? How do I feel when I look in the mirror? How do I feel in my head? I measure my success by these things and more. I feel good. I’ve lost weight. I am more confident, but I’m sorry, it’s not enough. I am still overweight and I do not want to be! I can not get my head around what MORE I can possibly do to actually lose weight. I am still at least 22 pounds over the “normal” BMI category. 22 pounds. That’s too much! I can’t even say “oh I’m struggling with the last 10 pounds.” No. it’s 10 KILOS. That is too much. I received some tips about different exercises I can do that would be good for me, but I just don’t know when I could do make time for them. Excuses. I know. I’ve got to get some acceptance here so that I can move on from it. I feel like dropping off for a while so I don’t have to watch everyone else succeed around me. Only thing is, I like seeing my fellow bloggers succeed. I like supporting them. It just feels like there is no one who can relate to me, that I’m truly alone in this.

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So have you ever been on a plateau, a long one, for more than six months? What did you do to break it? What were the circumstances and did you change anything drastically to start losing weight again?

October: How did that happen?

Posted on by Renée
10

This is a really weird time of year for me.

There are a few things involved; It starts with my birthday at the beginning of September. I always like to go away as my “present”, plus then I don’t have to deal with the Dutch Birthday Effect (everyone congratulating you in the office, lots of handshaking and “three kisses” with people you wouldn’t normally consider kissing, buying birthday cake for all of your colleagues, even though it’s your birthday…). So every year I take a day or two off on or around my birthday so I can really enjoy it with the one or ones I love.

Then back to reality and so starts the celebrations with local friends. This year was no exception. I was back from my long weekend in Rome and the next week celebrating (again with food and drink) with friends. Not complaining. I finally love my birthday and love celebrating it – how can you complain when your friends want to take you out and celebrate with you?

September is also that time of year at work where it’s busiest. When I was growing up I never said “I want to be an accountant” yet here I am, working in the accounting department experiencing the Year-End Close Stress. All those things that you were going to do throughout the year but never really got around to doing? Now’s the time. And the accounting department is not the only one that feels it. Suddenly every department is being pushed to get their costs in for the year and my whole team is walking around with their head about to explode. So, yeah. No wonder I’ve had a few wrestling matches with the candy jar.

I try to keep my head on straight. I try to use exercise as a way to release the stress. The training that led up to the Dam to Dam and the actual race itself kind of killed me afterwards. I’ve done nothing since the 19th of September. I miss it but I don’t feel physically bad or something (besides this stupid head cold I have now). I miss it mostly because I feel like lately all of my free time has gone to work and traveling to and from work. I’ve had quite some overtime lately and that’s to be expected this time of year but now I’m ready to move on.

Another factor now thrown in: a friend of mine from Seattle is on his first-ever trip to Europe. He was in Amsterdam last weekend (where I was with him, playing tourist/ Tour Manager), he’s in Paris this week until Thursday and then he’s in London where I will be joining him (with hubs) for the weekend. That means another weekend I am outside of my normal schedule.

I feel a real longing to just have my normal boring life back that includes running 20KM per week and going to the gym. I didn’t make it once to the gym in September and that irritates me. But it’s not every day that I have a friend visiting me/ near me and life is too short not to go and experience and travel.

After I get back from London, I will hopefully the weekend after that have the honor of meeting Rebecca from Durch Dick und Duenn in Germany as she will be traveling and staying near enough to where I live that it would be a downright shame if we didn’t get to meet.

September as a busy part of the year is slowly becoming September – October… and I have two races coming up in November that I am totally not prepared for (in my mind, maybe my body is prepared… I don’t know) and this creates a small panic attack if I allow myself to think about it too long.. It’s going to be fine though. The point is to do it, do my best at that moment and finish, right?

We will return to our regularly scheduled life sometime in the near future. We just don’t know when yet. That will also include eating right and perhaps even seeing a loss on the scale before I’m 87 years old.