Old Skool – Retro Post from April 30, 2009

Posted on 30 April, 2010 by Pinky @lowfatpie

I didn’t mean to be away this long.

Actually things are going quite well. I’m losing weight, I’m losing almost every day – in fact just been tracking the last 2 weeks and I’m down 4KG on my own scale, and 3.1 on the WW scale. Not bad.

And I’ve planned and shopped and cooked and counted and weighed and measured. It wasn’t hard and it didn’t hurt and it didn’t take that long.

But I’m exhausted. I’m tired and ready for some serious sleep.

You see I got some bad news last week. A friend of mine died. A VERY good friend of mine – though we didn’t have a lot of contact the last year or so. He was one of my first friends I had here in the Netherlands. We worked together, we went to the gym (and afterwards to McDonald’s) together, we went out, movies, concerts, we traveled together at times, heck we even went together to get our noses pierced (I got mine done, he didn’t – they said his nose was just too small!), and he helped me get my current job through the recruitment agency where he worked. We ate and drank together. We spent holidays together. 12 years – we have a real history in my adult life in this country. And he’s just gone. I’m devastated. Gutted. He was only 40, how could this happen?

And yet in all of this, when I could have easily gone back to my ways of comfort food and drink I’m hanging in there. We had more than our share of dieting/exercise moments and discussions between us. Maybe he’s trying to tell me to get healthy because you really never know when your time is up.

Start weight: 98.5
Week 1: 97.7 -800g
Week 2: 98.3 +600g
Week 3: 96.3 -2KG
Week 4: 95.2 -1.1KG

Zuidas Run 2010

Posted on 29 April, 2010 by Pinky @lowfatpie

On Sunday, Hubs and I went to Amsterdam to run in the Zuidas Business Run 2010. There were two courses we could sign up for, a 16K and a 6K. Considering the fact that we had only just done a 12K the month before and that was the maximum that either of us had ever run, we didn’t think it would be a great idea to go for a 16K. Also considering the fact that Hubs does not get to train as much as I do because of school and work commitments, it wasn’t realistic at all. So we signed on to do the 6K.

Of course we had trained, but at this stage a 6K is kind of like a workout. I know for some people 6K is a lot and trust me, knowing that I only could run about 1 minute at a time this time last year before I had to start walking again, I am not taking this for granted at all. Fact is, at this stage, if I don’t do 6K as a workout, then I really am not making any effort at all. 6K is a little bit more than 2 rounds around our park. It’s 40 minutes of exercise. If I went to the gym I would do let’s say 20 minutes on the elliptical and 20 minutes on the treadmill or bike. At this stage in my fitness level this is just how it is (On that note, I know people who do 10K regularly as just their workout. I would love to be at that stage but 10K would take me more than 1 hour and sometimes I don’t have time for that).

Anyway… training up to the 6K wasn’t really going that well. I hadn’t really run a full half an hour without stopping for a good two weeks prior to this event and to be honest, though I was ready, I wasn’t really looking forward to it. I really wanted to do the run in 40 – 45 minutes, but once I made that decision I had actually done it twice at 38 minutes. When things weren’t going that well I thought I really wouldn’t make this personal goal. I also wanted to train at least twice before the event and I managed only once. At that point I thought, “Ok, well, just go and do your best. You can’t do more than your best.”

On Sunday we woke up pretty early. Our journey to Amsterdam started around 9.20 with bus and train. The 12K started at 11.30 and we wanted to see our team mates off who were participating. What was cool was that it was happening right outside the station that we needed to be at so our 11.10 arrival gave us plenty of time to find them. 11.30 came and they were off. We spent the next hour just hanging out, eating our peanut butter sandwiches and getting excited about our race.

At around the almost-hour mark runners started coming over the finish line (10 miles / 16 K in an hour!!) so we stood at the finish line cheering them on. I figured that my Big Encourager (M), would be in around 1 hour and 15 minutes. At 1:18 there he was – the first one from our team. About 7 minutes later was V, my colleague who ran the NYC marathon just last year – the 2^nd from our team and the first female. Not surprising at all really, these are our team superstars. (V actually told me she hadn’t trained for 3 months. 3 months!! And then just ran 16K!! Amazing!)

Then it was our turn. At 1.15pm the 6K’ers walked over to the start, did a bit of a warm up and at 1.30 the start gun went off.

It was pretty warm out and I noticed right away in my breathing that I was definitely not used to daytime running! I thought also that I hadn’t hydrated enough the days before and certainly not that day (because let’s face it, we all know that runners have bladder issues and I really wasn’t in the mood to pee my pants during the race), but there were no water stands along the way for us at all. I was so incredibly thirsty, overheated and sweating like a pig. The good part of the race was that I beat a seemingly fit male colleague. Also it was a fairly easy route to run, though the negative would be that a part of the run was in Amstel Park and we had to run through families relaxing and walking around that area.

I had to walk a few bits of the run. I really didn’t want to but I had to. I crossed at 43. Still within the range but I know I can do better. In hindsight (and after using my brand spanking new Polar heart rate monitor) I ran too fast at the beginning. I need to learn how to pace myself. Next run will be better because I have a long time to train and to learn what my best pace is for endurance (next run is 16K in September).

A few colleagues were there to cheer us in and straight afterwards we hit the beer tent. After all, what’s a good run worth if you can’t have an ice cold Heineken afterwards.

M has a video of me crossing the line, but hasn’t uploaded it yet. As soon as I have it I will share it with you. Until then, here I am coming in (hubs took the photo and you can see M making a video on the other side of me).

I am definitely getting hooked on this running thing!

The Hunger: Part Deux

Posted on 28 April, 2010 by Pinky @lowfatpie

I wanted to follow up a bit on my post from yesterday. Coincidentally, I am listening to the Two Fit Chicks podcast where the first question that they are discussing is about Hunger during weight loss. It’s nice to know that there are others who struggle with this. Well, not “nice” but you know what I mean.

To clarify a few things: Normally, while following the Weight Watchers program I have very often had very different things to eat from day to day. This could be breakfasts of egg/egg white omelets with veggies, cereal and light soy milk, a piece of chicken from the dinner before to even soup. I don’t distinguish foods based on when we are supposed to eat them! Prior to probably 2 months ago I had a snack in between breakfast and lunch, generally only consisting of fruit. Lunches were always a combination of a carb/protein/veg; brown rice with shrimp, avocado, tomatoes and a dressing of Dijon mustard and lemon juice, or 100g of leftover penne pasta with some tuna, olives (exactly 5), tomatoes and a light dressing of balsamic vinegar and olive oil. There would be snacks in the afternoon of fruit and yoghurt, and raw veggies (cucumbers, carrots, etc). Dinner is provided by the Hubs, but he is always thinking about my program and lets me know what’s in the meal if it’s a new recipe. Otherwise, it’s normally always a healthy combination again of carb/protein/veg.

There was nothing really wrong with what I was doing. I love food so I had no issue making up nice lunches and tasty snacks. There was and is pretty much still no junk in between (I made it out of my 2+ week chocolate frenzy finally). The only issue? I haven’t lost any weight since November (sorry for those who know this – I know I’m repeating myself, repeating myself).

So I went to 3FC to get some feedback and received the following:
I was eating too much fruit
Wasted calories from my daily latte
I needed to eat even more vegetables to fill up
I was eating too much in general
Too many carbs
I should try counting calories since it seemed WW wasn’t working for me.
Dinners were clearly going over my budget.

The actions I took from that advice:
I stopped eating so much fruit.
The only morning “snack” I’m having is now a double short non-fat latte (I was having a triple tall).
If I get really hungry I drink a large tea.
Afternoon snacks: try to hold out until I leave work (I would have PM snacks and then be hungry again on the train home, then I would eat more fruit)
Dinner – non-exercise days: weigh and measure everything and keep an eye on portions

I tried, very feebly admittedly, to count calories, but I don’t see the point really (ha-ha, the POINT, get it?) when it’s pretty much the same as Weight Watchers. If I know that I have a budget of 29 points and I want to keep 10-15 for dinner, then I split the rest out. Calorie counters do the same thing with their budget.

What my life looks like:

I get up latest 5.20 every weekday morning.
I eat breakfast (after coffee) at around 6 am. (Hunger level is pretty high)
I arrive at work at 8.50am
I have my only latte at 9am (I am generally hungry again at this point)
I may have a tea around 10.30 to tide me over until lunch.
I eat lunch 12 sharp (or I am a cranky mofo)
I leave work at 5pm, hungry
I eat my snacks on the train home I arrive home around 7pm. (at this point I am hungry again)
If I am running, I will have a snack like a peanut butter sandwich or PB and crackers. If I am going to the gym, I will eat dinner first.
After running, or just when I get home, dinner (between 7.30 – 8.30pm).
When I am preparing food and actually bringing stuff to the office, I will normally do this after dinner and before bed.
Bed between 10-10.30pm If I go to the gym, there is no food prep, though I may then get up at 4.30am to do it (depending on how tired I am).

I do think that part of my problem is that my waking hours are too long compared to my sleeping hours, but given my commute, there really is not much I can do about this (I think) I do not think that I have a super-fast metabolism, but I don’t know how to test that (if I did, would I still be fat???). In any case my metabolism is probably faster than it was a year ago, because I’m a lot more active.

Regardless, I have had this hunger problem for as long as I can remember! 10 years ago, 20 years ago, I remember always struggling with this! So I can pretty much eat what anyone would think would satisfy and I would still be hungry. What I have learned from all of this though is that just grabbing something doesn’t help either, so I won’t eat just anything.

Last week and this week I am pretty much eating a sandwich (2 pieces of multi-grain bread, 10gr of light mayonnaise and filet americain or chicken lunch meat) for breakfast, and for lunch 2 sandwiches (one with multi-grain bread, light cream cheese, 20g of lunch meat, and one with celery salad, mustard tomatoes). I have had a 0% fat yoghurt in the afternoon, some fruit and maybe some raw veggies if I’ve had time to prepare. That’s it. And guess what? That? Costs me almost my entire daily allowance on Weight Watchers. Clearly this will not work for me, so next week I’ll go back to planning and prepping and bringing lunches and snacks again. This sandwich thing is an attempt to eat like a typical Dutch person (though my toppings are probably not completely typical). This is exactly how my husband eats, though he has yoghurt in the morning and after lunch (what I’m doing today).

The question still remains: Why am I not losing weight when I eat varied and use my points in a more fulfilling way, fill up on veg, snack only on fruit, protein at every meal, only good carbs, etc? I am less hungry eating the way I was before, but a dull hunger is still there. Now I’m eating what I find to be very little in volume, and too much in points and I’m ravenous.

I would really love to know what it feels like to not have this empty feeling in my stomach and lightness in my head. I’m not making this shit up. As I type this, it’s 7.45am, I’m on the train to work and I am STARVING. I would like to fit properly into my size 42 jeans and possibly lose up to 12KG more. It will never happen though if I have to keep eating to feel like I’m not going to fall over or possibly eat off the nearest body part.

I hope that provides more information. I would love to hear more of your thoughts on this. All I know is, I can not continue this way – it’s not healthy and it’s not pleasant to feel like this all the time. A little bit of hunger is ok, I can accept that. I’ve been doing this a long time though, I am pretty sure my adjustment periods are way over by now.

The Hunger

Posted on 27 April, 2010 by Pinky @lowfatpie

What is it about hunger that makes us feel so uncomfortable?

What is it about hunger that makes ME feel so uncomfortable??

I can not ever remember a time in my life where I worried about whether I would have a meal or not. I mean I know, when I was a kid we were poor and we didn’t always have huge amounts of food to eat. We also ate things like cereal for dinner, and cheap meals like macaroni and cheese, pork chops and apple sauce and tinned vegetables. But it’s not like we missed meals all together.

I feel like I complain about hunger a lot. I don’t like to be hungry. I don’t like to be late for my lunch. I don’t even like not having something to eat every couple of hours, though lately I have been skipping a morning snack all together in the hopes that my stomach/head will adjust to the difference and deal with it accordingly.

I don’t really feel like I’ve adjusted at all though. I have the feeling now that I’m just suffering through until lunch. That if other people can make it without eating surely I can. I’m not going to die, after all, just because I’m “empty”.

I’ve also been trying to eat “like a Dutch person”. The Sandwich Phenomenon. I wrote about it on my other blog. These are not like “American” sandwiches, with the works, these are literally 2 slices of bread, a very thin layer of margarine (that I’m not doing) and a slice of cheese or lunch meat and that’s it. So let’s say a Dutch person would have two “sandwiches” (an American “half”) for breakfast and four for lunch with various different toppings. I’m not knocking this entirely, I swear, even though it may seem like a broken record to some. My husband eats like this. Every day without fail. Toppings may include peanut butter as well, or Nutella, or butter/margarine with chocolate sprinkles.

So, I have been eating an American sandwich for breakfast and two for lunch. And this costs me a LOT of points. A LOT. Bread itself is 3 points per 50g. NO slice of bread out there (that is worth eating, to me) weighs only 25g. I would say the average that 2 slices of bread weighs is around 65 – 70gr. This is costing me 4.5 – 5 points.

Keep in mind I could eat an entire tub of yoghurt for 5 points. A pound of yoghurt.

I could eat 2 eggs for 5 points.

I could eat 250 g of chicken for 5 points.

So this is just bread we are talking about. Then I add something to the bread. This is leaving me VERY little points for dinner.

So my question is (and it’s purely rhetorical, I am sure) how on EARTH do people eat ONLY sandwiches during the day (and I’m not having peanut butter or Nutella by the way) and have a normal meal in the evening AND STAY SO FREAKING thin/normal weight???

I am absolutely STARVING.

Yes I know I shouldn’t say that. I’m not starving of course. But I’m uncomfortably hungry. Really, really hungry. No it’s not thirst. It’s not emotions. It’s not stress. It’s pure, unadulterated hunger.

I really have no idea how I am supposed to keep my body fueled so that it doesn’t feel like this, but I’ve really got to find a solution soon.

I’ve just calculated all my points for today pre-dinner. 28 is the total. I get 29 per day. So, if I’m THIS HUNGRY when I feel I’ve had so little to eat, could something be wrong?

How do YOU deal with the Hunger?

Project 42:2

Posted on 26 April, 2010 by Pinky @lowfatpie

The Update (written Sunday 25^th April, before my 6K race in Amsterdam)

It’s actually been a great week all things considering.

Since I decided how I am going to go about my Plan, I really have focused on it, on my health, my choices and my commitment to myself, without the pressure of having to be perfect or *having* to face the scale.

It has not been perfect. Not far from it but not close either. In tracking my intake on my WW program I found out two things:

My daily points are 29. I seem to always go over 29 (that’s ok, I have 49 “free points” a week or even 7 extra a day if you split it up that way). Striving for 29 and then failing each time was causing me stress, therefore, it’s a given I will go over and will use from my free points and completely ok (no guilt). The second thing – I exercise enough, nearly daily, to justify those 2 – 3 extra points a day. In theory I should be able to have my 49 points left for the weekend to use, if I have a week without any extracurricular activities.

I wanted to hit 50 in exercise points. That also did not happen. I did stay active up until Friday, though Monday was officially my rest day. Tuesday was running, pushups and sit-ups, Wednesday was cycling and Thursday I did my pushups and sit-ups. I wanted to go to the gym two times last week and I didn’t make it.

This leads me to questioning whether I should still go to the gym. At 48 per month it seems a bit of a waste if I only make it 4 times in that month. This is so annoying to me and I don’t know how to make it work. I’m actually really enjoying the gym and the Zumba classes when I go now, so I don’t want to quit, but I wish I could really make it work even though I work so far away from home and my commute is 4 hours a day. I’m going to have to think about this. I have an elliptical at home, it’s about 10 years old now and I’m not really using it much anymore (though it came in handy this winter when it was freezing out) and I’m thinking about getting rid of it. There are other things going on that need to be dealt with in my apartment, namely a certain 12-year old who will be needing her own room soon, and I really won’t have room for the elliptical anymore if we have to make space for that.

I had a LOT of victories last week. There was quite a lot of stress at work again and I didn’t give in to any of the stress through emotional eating. Another victory was leaving food on my plate when I had enough. Being that I am from the generation of the Clean Plate Club, this is big for me. I tracked every single day from Monday to yesterday (though I did not fill everything in for yesterday because I was afraid the whole program would blow up – too many points over). So even though I went over from Thursday onwards, I tracked. This is major. Another major victory – I actually looked at myself in the mirror and didn’t make disgusting faces at what I saw. I felt good. I even felt like I looked pretty hot one day. It’s a great feeling to like yourself!

Tracking helps a lot. It actually gives me an idea of what works and what doesn’t. I think knowing this I can kind of stick to the same items during the week (when it’s a normal work week) and feel good that I am on track without hardly even thinking about it. I went off plan a bit Thursday because I was invited to a special posh lunch with media from all over Europe, which was three course and included wine and coffee tastings. I didn’t hesitate to accept the invitation; it’s not every day this happens.

So I tracked, I moved, I didn’t give in to emotional / stress eating. No matter what the numbers, this was a successful week.

Improvement areas are: gym, and my 100 pushups and 200 sit-ups programs. I did not get to Day 3 of Week 1/ Week 3 yet and I’m not sure when I will. So I think I will restart that this week. Better to restart than give up.

Plans for the new week:

This week will be tricky for several reasons.

1) Concert tonight in Amsterdam, means eating out for dinner

2) Queens’ Night/ Queens’ Day Thursday and Friday – this is a major national holiday for us. There will be booze and food involved. One good thing though – we have the kids this weekend which means I won’t be totally wankered on Friday, since I kind of need to be sober to be a decent parent, right? But Thursday night we will most definitely go out

3) That certain 12-year old I mentioned earlier? I promised to make cupcakes with her this weekend.

What I’m going to do

1) Running – Tuesday

2) Gym – Wednesday

3) Running – Friday midday or Saturday morning

4) Gym – Sunday

And of course get my pushups and sit-ups in this week.

Tomorrow I’ll post about my 6K run in Amsterdam!

Project 42: The Plan

Posted on 20 April, 2010 by Pinky @lowfatpie

Weight Watchers ProPoints – 29 points per day, 49 extra per week. (Monday’s result: 32.5 / 3.5 from extra)

Earn minimum 50 activity points per week. (so far 9 on Sunday)

Run minimum two times per week. (plan: Tuesday and Friday)

Gym minimum two times per week. (plan: Thursday and Saturday)

200 situps challenge – initial test Sunday 18th April: 81 situps (start with Week 3)

100 pushups challenge – initial test Sunday 18th April: 17 pushups

Project 42:1

Posted on 19 April, 2010 by Pinky @lowfatpie

Not only is this the size of my jeans, but it’s the age I will be on my next birthday. Seems very appropriate.

I took these photos on April 13th, 2010. My goal is not a scale related goal, it’s jeans-related.

I would like to wear these jeans without the torso bits hanging down over the waist. I love the way these feel on my bum and thighs and the waist is really perfect.

I need to get my head in the right place to follow my instincts AND my Weight Watchers program. Eating intuitively doesn’t really work with me because I haven’t solved the issues in my head which say “eating intuitively = eat whatever you want whenever you want” .

So this week I will be tracking and paying attention to what I’m eating and when I’m eating it, particularly if there emotionally-charged eating moments. This week I also will be exercising as usual – I have a 6K coming up in just 6 days!

In one week I will post my successes with tracking and moving. In one month I will take pics again.

Confession Time

Posted on 18 April, 2010 by Pinky @lowfatpie

I got on my scale Thursday.

I lasted a whole week avoiding the scale.

I didn’t have a breakdown when I got on it (even though it’s at *that* number again – 82.3KG).

The world didn’t end.

I didn’t become a horrible, ugly person.

In fact I felt neutral about the whole thing.

Why should I care? I did a lot last week that was positive and good for me.

I biked, I ran, I ate well. I wanted to track one full day and I did that – even hitting my target of 29 daily ProPoints. I even earned 16 activity points on that same day.

I ate chocolates, but this time took out any negative thought and emotion out of having them.

I still want to lose weight, but I am accepting more and more than I need to be OK with myself IN THE PRESENT MOMENT before the rest is going to come off.

I need to accept fully that tracking may or may not be the way to go.

That weighing myself regularly may or may not be the way to go.

That it’s actually ok to weigh 82.3KG.

I’m pretty sure I’m still going to put my scale away but in the meantime I’m not compelled to get on it. I am going to go by size for a while – I have been wearing size 42 jeans (size 12) lately – some jeans I had from years ago that I loved. They fit waist/hips/legs wise, but I have a bit of Dunlop Disease (you know, where your belly’s dunlopped over your belt?) a.k.a. muffin top and that’s what I’m going to focus on. In fact I have no issue with size 42, it’s a good size and is available still in many “normal” stores, so if that is the size I’m meant to be right now, I can also accept that.

I will be posting my start size 42 photos this week. It’s not exposed, but it’s a step towards it (on a side note, I really don’t know if I can expose myself, because 1) I am sure there is an ex-boyfriend out there that checks this blog (paranoia?) and 2) I have friends in real life who look at this blog (though I bet they would High-Five me if I did it). We’ll see. One body part at a time, please.

Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses?

Posted on 14 April, 2010 by Pinky @lowfatpie

Or run with them anyway?

On Monday we went running again. Across the street from where I live (I’m in those flats you see in the distance):

Just so you have an idea, I live in the 2nd largest city in the province of Gelderland. Which happens to be the largest province of the Netherlands. It’s not New York City or Chicago Urban, but it’s a city, make no mistake. But here, in this city, in the park where we run (or rather around the park) is a farm, with sheep and horses. This time of year is AMAZING because of all the baby animals that are being born. In the park we have a petting zoo, complete with all sorts of animals – sheep, pigs, goats, chickens, cows, rabbits. I am such a sucker for baby animals and I love seeing the little lammies frolicking around on the farm land when I’m running or even having a stroll or cycling through the park on my way home.

So yesterday, we were running. And for only the second time ever (the first time was last year) this old grey guy started galloping next to us!

Call me cheesy but this makes running, heck even being outdoors, so worth it. I absolutely LOVED that he galloped around the fence next to us as we ran through. Where else in a city can you have this experience?

I love where I live so much sometimes!

Without Even Trying

Posted on 13 April, 2010 by Pinky @lowfatpie

Today is the 9^th day in a row that I’ve done some sort of activity.

Now that isn’t much really if you think about it. I mean, if you want to talk about someone making a an effort to move every single day then you would definitely need to look at Kat, who is an amazing inspiration for daily activity!

It started with my bike ride on Easter Monday. I only went out for fun, to enjoy the day, get some fresh air and get some movement in. It ended up being nearly 30KM as you all know.

Then on the Tuesday I went back to Zumba. I did a Zumba technique class so I would feel like such an uncoordinated dork with all the different moves, but I hadn’t actually been back to a regular class.

On Wednesday I went running. Since I’m signed up for the Zuidas 6KM in Amsterdam, I’ve been working on reaching that 6KM within a certain period of time (my initial thought was 40 – 45 min, but I can do it under 40!). Hubs went with me (because the way he supports me is to also go along with the running and the different events. That’s just how he rolls.), we had a good run, a great dinner afterwards and went to bed exhausted.

But he woke up in the middle of the night sick. Like deathly ill. I’ve never seen or heard him that ill before. With him up in the middle of the night, that meant that I was up in the middle of the night. I think we must have fallen back asleep around 3.45 or so. With him being ill that meant no ride to the train station for my morning trip to work. So I biked to the train station, and back home afterwards on Thursday.

On Friday he was still ill. So I cycled again. Then I went running after work.

On Saturday I got up fairly early to spend the day with my girlfriend shopping in Germany (just over the border really, to Oberhausen). We spent the whole day shopping, talking, eating, drinking coffee. We arrived back at Arnhem at around 5.30pm – she went home and then later Hubs and I rode our bikes to the train station to meet her again and her husband for dinner. So more cycling to and from the station.

On Sunday we met with friends in Utrecht. Again, cycling to and from the station.

Yesterday hubs needed another day at home, so I hopped on my bike again. And I ran in the evening.

And here we are at Tuesday. Hubs is going to the doctor this morning, so I’m on the bike again.

And you know what? It feels good. I am fully functional. I can feel the strength in my legs, the power (and a little pain, but that’s ok) when I’m pushing up the hills (which seems to be the only hills in this country, right here in the town I live in). I really like it. This is what I missed the most when I was very fit and at my ideal weight several years ago. I don’t have to miss it anymore. This is what I do.

(I’m off to Zumba tonight too. I was planning on a day off tomorrow, but I’m kind of liking this movement thing I’ve got going on!)

{run} {laugh} {eat pie}

amazing what changes when you start to run

Monthly Archives: April 2010