March is the Month I Hit Goal Again

Sometime right before I started marathon training, I decided I really wanted to get back to my WW goal of 70KG. At that time it was something like 6 or 7 KG to lose and if I would be really serious about my training and my food, it should be possible to do that by the end of March. The Marathon is on the 12th of April, so that would give me a few weeks cushion, but really, the idea was end of March.

Reality is sometimes different than desire, as we now know.

And as we also know, the only one responsible for all the decisions and choices I make is me. And the same goes for you. We can blame work, school, the kids, traffic, holidays, whatever… but actually we all have the choice, right?

And I’ve had a couple of months where my choices and decisions weren’t great, but at least I’ve still got my running which keeps me in a fairly safe place for now. However, yet another thing we know:

bad-diet

I can’t complain too much because I have lost a little bit in that time. Last week I went down 800 grams… this week I went up 800 grams… reminds me of the 4 years I spent going from 80 to 81 to 80 to 82 to 81 to 80 … get my drift? Not fun. I don’t want do that again.

So, how do I intend to reach my goal of 70KG by the end of March? (by the way this would be 68 on my home scale!!) So glad you asked!

1) Food logging – has to be done and needs to be honest. Of course it’s a royal pain in the arse and sometimes makes me feel even more like food runs my life but let’s be really open here – when you have “always” (even if in your head) had a weight issue, food will “always” be somehow in the forefront of your mind. Well at least in my mind. Food has always played a really weird role in my life (from not being allowed certain things to watching my family members being unhappy about their weight and dieting to sneaky eating and disposing of evidence so no one would know) and perhaps if I accept this it won’t be such a big deal.

2) Water Drinking – will this have profound effect on my weight loss? I don’t know. What I do know is that I have not been drinking enough water lately and that effects how I feel after longer runs. This can be easily rectified. 2 litres per day, minimum.

3) Exercise - all of the exercise!

do-all-the-exercise

this includes more than just the bare minimum that I’m currently doing (running). Therefore I will be not only covering my running program outside or at the gym, but I will start up on my corework again. And just for fun:

4) 31 Day Burpee Challenge – BRING IT ON! #496burpees – want to join me in the challenge???

5) Zero Alcohol (actually until race day). I managed to get through most of February without, but I know of one night in particular that I had a beer or two, one evening I had a shot of Ouzo when we were out for Greek, and a few weeks ago I had a glass of prosecco at a local expat friends shop open-house. So, from now until race day (and, to be honest, I probably won’t be able to drink much anyway), not a drop.

6) No candy, cookies, junk at work (also not at home, but work is the place where it’s most available). And I’m not saying I can’t have this stuff, I’m saying “I don’t eat {insert what I don’t eat}” so that it’s a statement of behaviour rather than restricting myself from it. To be honest, this crap ADDS ABSOLUTELY NO VALUE to my life, my body or my state of mind. I’m eating this crap because of stress moments and this is not the way to handle stress.

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So, 3.8 kilos in a month. Is it possible? Sure. Is it realistic? I don’t know. But I’m going to try like my life depends on it, because actually, my life DOES depend on it in the long run.

The ups & downs of marathon training

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It’s week 10 and to be perfectly honest, the last few weeks of training hasn’t been going that well.
at least as far as following the schedule goes anyway! And already I’m starting this week with skipping today’s workout. I’m going to rectify that by leaving work at 3pm tomorrow to do my intervals and THEN run later with my running group.

I feel fine physically, in fact I feel better than ever!
Last week I went to Weight Watchers my official weigh-in was 73KG.
73!
Remember the days of bitching about how I’ll “always be at 80KG”?
Those days are OVER my friends!

I’m having less issues with my feet (foot tingling issue) – but back at fysio just to see if it’s related to my back and if there are any signs of a hernia. Fingers crossed it’s just needing to learn a better way to sit to protect my back and nerves from getting pinched.

Recovery is pretty amazing too, after long runs – I expect to be sore the next day but no real twinges of any pain or discomfort. I’m getting regular massages as well (but trust me, these are not the relaxing kind!)

The biggest issue? My head is not in the game.
Work takes so much out of me and even when I say I’m not going to work late or that I’m most definitely going to go to the gym, I don’t keep my own appointment with myself.

Why is it so hard to keep appointments with ourselves?
Honestly I think most of us are concerned with not letting others down, being on time, etc.
Yet I’m the first person to cancel with myself.
I know that this is partially because I’m kind of SICK of intervals on the treadmill and it’s nearly impossible to get up to the right speed outside AND maintain it.
Then my brain kicks in “Why is it so hard for me? why is it easier for everyone else? why can’t I just be faster without all this effort?”

problem

Seriously. I would consider myself a fairly ridiculous person in this scenario. After all this time still my biggest enemy is myself.

The mileage numbers are pretty insane though. Since I started I’ve run almost 400KM. 400KM in 9 weeks. Good thing I bought new shoes already! And while I’m skipping workouts I’m also freaking out about the actual marathon. Will I make it? Of course I will. At least I think I will.

and seriously? how awesome will this be??

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Do you also have issues keeping your own appointments? how do you keep your focus?

PS: I’m trying to get to Fitbloggin15… but, the flight is way out of my budget and I’m thinking of not going now. I really hate to ask, but Robby suggested I give it a try… I set up a GoFundMe account to raise the balance I need plus a cushion if the price goes up again. Would you consider helping me? Even $1 would get me closer. I would be so very grateful. My budget for the flight was EUR700 and the flight is now EUR1000 (and I want to get to Albuquerque to see my family afterwards, but if I spend the EUR1000 on the flight to Denver I can forget about that *sobs* )

Hello, friends, it’s been a while…

Good grief, I can’t believe it’s been so long since I posted. That was totally unintentional. For real. Lots has happened and that is one of the reasons it’s been difficult to sit down and write.

All the good things + all the things I didn’t want to talk about, of course. Silence is not always good. Especially from someone who shuts down when it’s all too much.

Anyway, here’s some of what’s been happening:

I’ve done 6 Races. 6! Of these 6, two have been Half Marathons. Exactly one week ago I ran the second half marathon, and I broke my PR (from Brussels- which I sadly didn’t write about, even though I was training for it all summer, which I PR’d from Berlin) by 5 minutes! FIVE MINUTES! And guess what? I wasn’t even trying. Another of the six races was a 25KM race. In my opinion this is completely nuts but of course there is a good reason…

Marathon Training!

Yes Marathon training is in full force. I’ve officially finished week 8 of 16 training weeks. To say I’m slightly freaked out about the marathon is an understatement. I ran 26K today, which is now my farthest distance and honestly, lots of kilometers actually hurt. It makes me sound like a jerk maybe, but I can just run a Half Marathon now. I know the distance. I know how to fuel for it. My legs and body understand the distance. It’s after 21 kilometres where it gets interesting. I still need to learn to fuel and hydrate properly. I need to test out compression. I need a new hydration pack that doesn’t sway back and forth on my back. Obviously this will continue to get interesting. I’ll keep doing races and organised training to keep up the motivation. Let’s face it, if you have to run alone and figure out a route of 30KM or more by yourself that’s pretty tough.

After the marathon we are signed up for several races, and there’s another reason for that as well!

I am officially a 2015 Rock ‘n Blog team member for the Rock ‘n Roll Marathon series!



So on top of Gothenburg Half Marathon in May (not part of the Rock ‘n Roll series, just something we planned a while ago), we will be totally rocking Liverpool (Me the Half, Hubs the full) and I will be doing Dublin (hopefully with some friends from NL but at least I’ll be able to hook up with some people from the Running the World Facebook group.

The cool bit… I get to GIVE AWAY an entry to Liverpool and I will be doing that very soon! The Rock ‘n Roll series is supercool; maybe you remember that the Hubs and I ran Lisbon in October 2013? Great organisation, live bands along the way and an awesome party afterwards! I an AWESOME discount code for my friends and readers to use, and believe me, you WANT to run at least ONE of the RnR races! Watch this space, the info will come shortly!

The thing I haven’t been wanting to talk about… my new job. I’m fairly miserable (to say the least) and even though there are brilliant side-effects (no commute, more sleep, weight loss), that’s about it. The stress is getting in the way of my training and makes me feel like hell. I am not certain how much longer I can take it. In the meantime I have to deal with it as much as I can, but it really is not a happy situation

So that’s the nutshell version of the last however-many-weeks. As of next week I’ll be back on the regular blogging circuit again.

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So, what have you been up to in the new year?

Big Things, Little Things

The last 10+ days have been full of big and little things. I believe we should celebrate as much as possible to keep things in perspective. This is a particularly hard lesson for me when it comes to work, but I don’t want to digress right away into that subject, so…

First of all, I decided to have TWO WINNERS for my giveaway! YAY! Elizabeth and Denise will soon be sporting new RoadID’s and keeping safe on the road with their fitness journeys. Thanks to everyone for participating!

Last weekend I ran my fourth Zevenheuvelenloop again with the Meeùs Running Club – to “jog” your memory, last year I won an entry in the Tilburg 10 Miles with Meeùs including EUR 100 gift certificate to Run2Day and was automatically a member of the running club with that entry. Since then I’ve run a few times with them and it’s so great! Safe place to put your stuff, normal toilets (no Dixis!), catering, beer, etc. And of course entry is always free with them! The Zevenheuvelenloop (7 Hills Run) takes place in Nijmegen which is very close to home. Several members of my local running club were also running, plus the Running Junkies (Amsterdam based group). Joanna was there, as well as Babette whom I haven’t seen since LAST YEAR’S 7HL when she was pregnant with her baby boy (who is since born and pretty much the most adorable baby ever). Was great to see J & B especially since it had been a while and luckily we were all running for Meeùs so we could hang out a bit before and after. Since Babette wasn’t pregnant this year we decided to go for 1:35 to have a slight and nice improvement for me and a kickass improvment for B. Though it was chilly and rainy (not as cold as last year in any case) we basically went for it! Babette and I ran pretty much the whole way together which was very helpful for me when my legs felt super heavy at 12KM until we literally ran into Joanna at 14KM. I was glad B gave it her best sprint at the end and didn’t wait for me – I was literally 20 seconds behind her at a finish of 1:34:34. Once again, ladies and gents, a Personal Record (how many is that this year???).

Babette and I keeping warm before the start

Babette and I keeping warm before the start

L - Babette, me, Udjen, Eva, Joanna before the race R - me, Joanna, Babette with our Blingy Bling

L – Babette, me, Udjen, Eva, Joanna before the race
R – me, Joanna, Babette with our Blingy Bling

After the race, the very cold 3 of us hobbled over to the Vereniging (where Meeùs was located) changed, ate, met up with Hubs,Udjen and Eva (Running Junkies) and then eventually headed to De Hemel (in town) to meet up with some SocialMilers. Great day indeed.

Still trying to get to the gym but work is fairly demanding at the moment – hoping this will change very soon – working on my new program which involves mostly body weight exercises, lunges, squats that sort of thing. Once Marathon training starts I’m going to have to be much more dilligent with getting my workouts in. Right now I’m not really training, so as long as I get there 2 times a week, it’s ok.

I went to the podiatrist as well this week – seems my orthotics aren’t 100% correct, or rather, they could be better. Also that horrible tingling in my left foot most likely isn’t going to go away because the chance that it’s a blocked nerve is really high and the only thing that helps with that is time. Boo! However, lately I’ve been laying flat in bed (so the millions of pillows have to go) or a little bit bent at the knees (laying on my side) and the tingling is less. As far as the pain and issues in both feet – also very likely that I have another neuroma (BOO!!!!) but orthotics could help but I may need to have an MRI later which could lead to (very worst case scenario) an operation (BOOOOO!!!!!). In my right foot it’s probably just painful from overcompensating and will also go away with time (definitely no stress fracture or something like that).

no surgery, please!  doesn't fit in marathon training schedule!!

no surgery, please! doesn’t fit in marathon training schedule!!


And last but not least, went to WW (skipped last week) and FINALLY the scale went down again. Loss is 1.5KG which is a total of 7.1KG since end of April. NOW WE ARE GETTING SOMEWHERE! According to WW scale I have 5KG to go to be back at goal weight. For the first time in 5 years I really feel like I might reach my goal early next year. Now to survive all of the treats and holidays that are ahead.

Speaking of which – what is your best tip for surviving the holidays without wrecking everything you’ve worked for???

What I’ve Gotten Out of Joining a Running Club

While I know there are tons of articles out there about the benefits of joining a running group or club I just wanted to share with you my own personal experience.

One thing I wanted for a really long time was to join a group so that I wasn’t constantly running alone. While I love my alone time most of the time, it’s also sometimes really hard to be motivated to go out and do it, especially if you are training for something (yes, I know it’s a personal choice to train to do races, etc.; that doesn’t mean it’s easy all the time). I joined a group via Facebook that my friend Joanna belongs to here but I was always either intimidated at their running level or I just couldn’t make the runs in Amsterdam (I planned on going after work one night and my fear pretty much kept me from going the first time).

So in January of this year, the Hubs mentioned to me that he saw a group on facebook called SocialMile. I thought, “yes! that’s it!” A group that runs together and then hangs out socially after the run for a drink and a chat. A group whose policy is to stay together no matter the level. While I was nervous (because this was also a Dutch social group for me – another hurdle to get over), the Hubs and i went together to our first run on a cold, dark January Wednesday night.

Since then we’ve done countless runs with SocialMile, I can’t imagine not being part of this group!

Here’s my reasons why you should join a running group:

Meet people who share your running passion – not only will you meet people in your hometown who share your passion, it’s also a great place to make friends. It’s possible you don’t like everyone on the same level, but at some point you will meet someone that you feel you could really develop a friendship. Especially important if you don’t know a lot of people or don’t have a real social life (like me for example – my friends were my ex-colleagues, plus my bestie M here in Arnhem).

Have a regular running appointment every week in your diary that no one can touch – it’s so easy to skip out on a workout or a run because of other people or work things that come up. Joining a running club with scheduled runs means a real commitment to yourself and you are worth it! I haven’t missed many SM runs – only a few where I wasn’t feeling well or had a big race coming up or when I was on holiday. Many times I don’t even feel like it, but I go and I never regret that I did!

Support and Motivation – know how great it feels when other people recognise that it’s going better for you, or that you’ve lost weight, or just express how great it is that you are doing a Half Marathon (or that you had your best 5K or whatever!)? You get that a lot with a group and you are also able to give back.

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A little dose of healthy competition - as much as I hate to admit it, the need to NOT be the one at the back of the pack drives me to push a bit harder. I am still often in the back but not so much anymore.

High chance of improvement – Improving your fitness level, your speed… basically you are improving because you are running at least that one time every week and you are driven to not be last.

Do fun stuff with fun people outside of the regular running dates – I have done many races and random runs with my SM’ers, and we share opportunities with each other if we are able. For example, my Starbucks team had extra entries for the Dam to Damloop, so I was able to offer them to my SM’ers. A group of us are all going to Paris in April next year as well for the Paris Marathon. The fun stuff just keeps on manifesting itself!

Access to Information by being a member of an athletic union – get discounts on races and running gear at local sports shops. If you are injured or just want to know your fitness level, often members of the running club know about how to get sports and fitness tests, refer sports doctors, sports masseurs, trainers and the like. A wealth of information and references is basically at your disposal.

For me personally, it’s helped me on a social and language level and I’m super happy and grateful to be a part of the group. If you are thinking “should I?” or wondering if you would be good enough, just stop right now and check out your local area running clubs. There’s no reason you shouldn’t at least try. If it’s not for you or not the right group you can find another group. Most people I’ve heard from have had only positive experiences. What have you got to lose?

5 Bloggiful Years!

Today is the Blog’s 5 year anniversary!
5 years!

I started off with absolutely no clue of what I was doing or how I even wanted to do it. I thought perhaps that it would be a great way to keep account of my life, my experiences and my quest for fitness and health, but I never ever thought it would bring me together with so many (hundreds??) other people out there with similar goals!

When this little blog began it was really more like a journal to keep track of weight loss and progression in running. After a while the weight loss stopped and I had to keep focus on what I could do and what I could control and having been learning more about myself and the process ever since.

Because I couldn’t have completely done it without all the friends and acquaintances and contacts in all forms of social media, I am giving thanks to everyone by this ***amazing*** giveaway!

(disclaimer: no one asked me to test anything, no one gave me anything to give away, this is purely an action on my own and therefore whomever wins will have direct contact with me for the exact details of the prize)

I wanted to give something that meant something to me, therefore I’ve chosen the RoadID! I personally have two RoadID’s (and one extra sport bracelet) and the Hubs has a shoe ID (that I arranged for him) as well. Having ID is SO important because you never ever really know if something can happen to you or not. Also, I never fill in that info on the back of race bibs (does anyone???) – with a RoadID you pretty much know all you need to know should I need medical attention, to call my emergency contact, or to just just set me up on a beer IV to get me on my way again.

There is a choice of the Wrist ID Slim
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Or the Wrist ID Sport

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Both in an array of colours of course!

Or if you don’t like to have stuff on your wrist or your Garmin takes up your entire arm, you could go for the Shoe ID:
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To participate, start by logging into Rafflecopter below with facebook or by entering your email.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

I know it’s probably silly but my favourite part of the RoadID is where you can add a sort of motivational text or boost on the last line of your info. You can have anything from deep and philosophical to just plain old fun (the Hubs’ says: “Better on a stretcher than on the couch”). As a bonus entry you can tell me in a 2nd comment on the blog what YOUR motivation would be on your RoadID should you win!

Good Luck and thanks for participating!

PS! don’t forget to login to Rafflecopter to get as many entries as possible! Giveaway ends 11/14 (or 14/11 if you are in Europe) at midnight CET (that’s 6 hours ahead of New York and 12 hours behind Auckland, NZ)

To Market, To Market, to buy a Fat …

Carrot?

crazy large organic carrots at the market.

crazy large organic carrots at the market.

I used to really hate going to the market. All those people. And the smelly fishmonger. And the yelling. I mean, really, how can anyone stand all of that? Occasionally I would go to a market in another town (and then end up hating it, or just being overwhelmed) because somehow it’s “different” if you are in Seattle, or Camden, or Münster but in actuality, it’s all the same. Vegetables, fruits, cheese, meats, fish, herbs, etc.

asparagus anyone?

asparagus anyone?

In the past year or so I’ve come to embrace the market a bit more. I don’t go every weekend, because, that would be nuts of course, but I try to go more often because the selection of fruit and veg is amazing and it’s much cheaper in most cases. Since I started juicing more, I want more bang for my eurobuck and buying fruit and veg at the supermarket just won’t do.

eat me

Normally I go to the same stand every time – this is one of the confusing things about the market. How are you supposed to know who has the best broccoli or carrots, for example? You can walk all over and shop around but ain’t nobody got time for that! So I now pretty much go to the same stand and load up. I must come home with 10KG of stuff in my (bike) bag. At least it feels like that when the bag is still on my shoulder!

while I prefer to buy in packages (perhaps I should rethink that...) this stand had herbs, spices and even nuts you could buy by weight.

while I prefer to buy in packages (perhaps I should rethink that…) this stand had herbs, spices and even nuts you could buy by weight.

At the market is also nuts and cheese – I don’t eat much cheese these days, but yesterday I bought some freshly roasted pecans and almonds (and then, oops, ate about half the pecans on my way home! Delish!) because I wanted to put nuts in my pulp bread this time around. Nuts are expensive here! So honestly it doesn’t matter if you buy them at the market or not. (Side note: I also went to the dairy farm and bought farm eggs, honey, mustard, apples and low-fat cheese, all from the region).

Must. Not. Eat. The. Cheese!

Must. Not. Eat. The. Cheese!

My staples these days are:
courgettes
carrots
beets
avocados
mango
pears

If something else takes my fancy I’ll pick that up as well. For example yesterday I picked up some alfalfa, 2 lemons and 2 limes in addition to my regular load.

My "regular" fruit and veg stand.

My “regular” fruit and veg stand.

I never thought I would enjoy the market as much as I do now. I still think the fishmonger stinks and there are far too many people, but hey, you can’t have everything, right?

Do you have a market where you live? Do you shop there for regular groceries? Or are you an avoid-at-all costs type?

Numbers

Good Lord I can’t believe I haven’t posted since July. What a slacker!

Here’s what’s happened:

Days since I last posted: 103
Kilometers run: 463
Calories burned running: 29,198
Races participated in: 6
Races I ran two different distances the same day: 1
PR’s achieved: 3
Number of races to participate in until the end of the year: 3
Approximate number of KT tapes strips used on my feet: 36
Countries visited: 4
Hotels slept in: 8
Weight Lost: 1.6KG
Weight loss to goal: 8.3KG
Goal weight: 68KG (changed from 70)
Reason for goal weight change : 1 Marathon registration
Days to the marathon: 177

Races
Run on the Volcano 10K – near Los Alamos, New Mexico
This run was awesome for several reasons – trail running, running with my bestie from grade school, and the Hubs placing 2nd in his age group. Oh yeah, and running at “home” – beyond words.

all mentions of your best grade school friend deserve an old photo, right?

all mentions of your best grade school friend deserve an old photo, right?

Bert Timmers Memorial Loop 10K
PR at 59:39
Beautiful day, very close to home in Westerfoort and Duiven.

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Tilburg 10Miles
2nd time to run this one. Great day, great race, great organisation!

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Arnhem Bridge to Bridge
10Miles
then 3Miles
Loved running my hometown race! Signed up the Girl for the 3miles but she ended up not training. I didn’t order us medals for some odd reason, only for the Girl. Later i realised it was a special edition medal for the 70th Anniversary of Operation Market Garden and what a waste to not have it so… I ran her race to get the bling!

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Dam tot Damloop 10Miles
PR at 1:39:46
Awesome day, ran with Starbucks Running Club AND SocialMile! My two worlds coming together!

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Brussels Half Marathon
YES! this is the one I was training for all summer.
PR at 2:17:27

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The Hubs ran the Berlin Marathon LIKE A BOSS! 3:25:30; 13 minutes PR from his first marathon this April in Rotterdam. Was I a little jealous that I wasn’t running Berlin? Absolutely! However, I got to run with Scott Jurek at the expo AND I biked a bit during the marathon to see the hubs at a few different KM points.

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A week later we were in Brussels with some Social Mile friends running the Half Marathon, including the hubs who ran, 1 week after the full marathon, yet another PR of 1:31!

So now that I have new goals (weight loss and running) that means I’ll be posting more regularly again because I have a few things to talk about, like weight watchers, what’s going on with my feet, the reason I choose my goal weight and obviously my training, once I’ve started. I’m pretty much crapping myself that I’ve signed up for the Paris Marathon next year (oh, yeah and the Gothenburg Half as well…) but the deal is done so… on to the next big adventure!

June Wrap Up

It seems that whole changing jobs thing is really helping the rest of my life.

Physically I feel less tired and I have more time to be committed to my health. In fact, what I noticed is that having the time to actually do what you want to do makes a HUGE difference. I think the last few years of my life I was squeezing in a run or gym session and half of the time just going through the motions. It’s kind of crazy how much I enjoy running and going to the gym.

One night I even just went to the park and worked out. In the park. Public. Where everyone could see me. This included a park elliptical, running, skipping, jumping rope, doing tricep dips and pushups.

park gym 2014-06-23 17.17.23

park 2014-06-23 17.16.42

park 2014-06-23 17.16.36

I’ve started my Half-Marathon training as well, and am now officially in my 4th week (today is a rest day, whoo!!) – my friend Nathalie and I are doing the Brussels Half the first weekend of October. While I still struggle with certain things (like intervals) I’m just following my schedule and doing my best (and trying to not get too frustrated). My physiotherapist gave me some good tips after watching (and recording) me run on the treadmill and I’ve been using those tips as part of my warm up. In fact, I did two 10K’s in June after I got tips from the physio and they were two of my fastest runs in over a year (still not my fastest, but at 1:03 and 1:02 that’s way closer than I have been lately!). I feel like my body is healing and because I’m losing weight, it will only continue to get better. For the first time in well over a year I feel like running is my friend again!

In June I made a total of 107KM! For someone who hardly could move 2 months ago, this is pretty amazing mileage!

Work is still OK, still not in love but I’m honestly coming to terms with the fact that I probably won’t love it. This is a tough concept when you passionately love where you work to just going in to do your job and then going home leaving your work behind. Believe me though, this is good, this is way better than carrying everything with you all the time (and constantly being “on” – reading work emails, working late, working on the train – in fact, hardly ever stopping). I’ve had the opportunity to see a few ex-colleagues since I left and I’m so, so happy for that. I was terrified at the concept of having those friendships be just work relationships and, while it will take work from both sides, I’m so happy to maintain the relationships that are meant to be long-term.

I posted about giving my all at WW for four weeks and the week after that was a little less on target. This is the hardest part about weight loss. Actually having a life while you are in the process. the Hubs and I went out to dinner with friends and I made choices that were not 100% on plan. As far alcohol, I decided 5 weeks ago that alcohol HAD to be limited. On this particular night out I made the choice to ignore my decision. When I weighed in on Tuesday, I got exactly the result I deserved. While still a loss, it was just 200 grams. Imagine if I had kept my promises to myself!

So to be honest I’m getting used to not drinking beer or at least drinking alcohol free beer. Which for me, if you know me… is pretty weird!! On Saturday we went to a friend’s BBQ and I choose to eat different sorts of food (which included southern baked beans and cheese cake, but I can assure you, not at the same time) and completely forgo alcohol all together. Same happened last week – I went to the gym and then out to meet friends – I could have easily used my old excuse “I worked out, I deserve it!” but I decided it was or eating out or drinking but not both.

This is a real learning process. On the one hand I’m still throwing a tantrum. On the other, meh, do I want beer more than I want to be at my goal weight again? And here’s the thing… I got on the scale this morning and saw a number I haven’t seen for 10 years… while it’s not my WW weight and it’s not where i want to be, I’ve never had the opportunity to run at a lower weight before and I’ve seen exactly what 10 KG difference makes in a runner – my husband is leaner, faster, stronger and has way more endurance. I would be out of my mind to not want that as well.

In other news, we are off to New Mexico in just TWO WEEKS! VACATION!!!! Luckily my awesome, stupendous, amazing friend Melissa sent me the grocery book from Weight Watchers and the Simply Filling booklet so that I can prepare myself before and during my trip! I don’t want to be uptight about vacation, but I also don’t want to undo everything I’ve managed to achieve in the last 5 weeks. So, THANK YOU Melissa for helping a fellow WW’er out!

There’s more I want to talk about but I think I’ll actually attempt to just write a bit more this month rather than shove it all into one post!

How was June for you? Have you made any (renewed) promises to yourself?

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Four Hundred Percent

So, I discovered the whole secret to weight loss! Seriously! I shouldn’t share it with you, in fact I should CHARGE you to read this but because I’m such a nice person, I’m going to just come right out with it!

The big secret?

You have to actually make the effort to have it happen.

That’s right.

Seems easy right? “But I do that!” Really? Do you?

Have you done every single thing to make sure it happens or do you find reasons and excuses not to be committed to the effort?

Because – not being Judgy McJudgerson here – I notice – that I see a lot of us making excuses. And here’s the thing. I was CONSTANTLY making excuses and for the most part eating stuff that was not reflective of what I ultimately wanted.

My excuses:
Stress
I want it
I deserve it
A little bit won’t hurt my diet
What? I run a lot so I can eat more!

While some things I definitely had going against me – real stress, commuting stress, lack of sleep – I gave in all the time for many reasons, some I probably didn’t know or wanted to keep buried under the surface. While I was constantly sabotaging myself I was also angry that nothing was working. WHY couldn’t I lose weight? WHY was i just staying the same ALL OF THE TIME? Other people lost weight. Other people were successful at it, what the actual flip was my problem?

Well, I think some of it had to do with being stubborn. Why should I have to give up things? Why couldn’t I just magically lose weight and be like everyone else? Poor me. It’s not fucking fair. *Cue throwing self on floor*

As you know I re-joined Weight Watchers right before I started my new job, but the first 3 weigh-ins I gained weight. Like, seriously, WTAF? Who does that? Well I did, because I WENT to the meeting, but I only half-assed tried to follow the actual program. My Weight Watcher leader just asked me point blank – are you actually following the program? Being a horrible liar I had to come out with it, NO, I wasn’t. She asked me to try the Power Start, just for a week. We talked a bit more and decided that actually just going straight for Power Foods was the best choice (this is called “Telvrije Dag” in the Netherlands) because I really need variety to NOT see the numbers adding up making me crazy and feel like a failure if I go over one day (which, you can’t “go over”, but there’s a crazy mind game numbers play with me). So I promised her ONE WEEK. I promised her I would track everything 100%. I would prove to her stubbornly that it DOESN’T WORK. I AM AN ANOMALY!!

So I tracked everything for one week. It made me a bit nuts but I had to prove her wrong. Where I didn’t know exactly what points value was (because if it’s not on the PowerFoods list, you need to count), I had to just guess (which is where I generally give up). And I went in after a week expecting to see nothing happen and then…

I lost 2.2Kilos. That’s 4.8lbs.

Huh???

So I did it again. And I lost 700 grams.

And then I did it a third weeek and I lost 300 grams.

So I did it a fourth week and I lost 1.9KG.

Though I gained the first three weeks, I’m not even counting it. I wasn’t trying. I didn’t start. I started 4 weeks ago. I gave it 100% each week. No cheats. Everything logged. The worst part of all of it? I pretty much gave up alcohol with the exception of about 6 beers and 1 glass of wine. In the last 4 weeks. Me. I’m drinking alcohol-free beer for the Love of Pete. Who am I and what have they done with the real Pinky????

Four Hundred percent. 5.1KG. Just over 11lbs.

Imagine that. Making an effort and no excuses actually works.